arienettelyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No show and brother-bashing...wee I refuse to be upset that I'm not going to the show tonight. I realized I have seen all 4 of those bands in the past, strange as that is. Linkin Park were entertaining, but are kinda sucky live. Blink182 were just a sorry excuse for a live band. 311 sucks, live or on CD. Brand New was okay, but nothing magical. Of course, I saw Blink182 and Linkin Park in giant arenas, not a little club...but...that's beside the point. The only main thing would be the wasted money, and the money was already wasted, a show is not something that is important or any way. I waste money every freaking day. So why should this upset me? It doesn't. I feel a lot sicker today. I'm terribly nauseous. It will be a very lazy weekend. Except for the snow shoveling, I suppose. My brother does things he's not supposed to do with the girl he's not supposed to be dating. I have to act like I don't know whenever my mother asks me. I don't know why this is such a big deal to me. I've lied to my mother before. And when I do, I expect my brother to back me up. But I've never lied about anything like this. I drove to Massachusetts when I wasn't supposed to. I lied about some grades. I don't know how to handle this. Loyalty to my brother, who I know I should stick up for, even though what he's doing is wrong? But he doesn't think it's wrong, so how can it be held against him? My mother's rules on this little "relationship" are not unfair. This girl is 14. I don't care what Kenny or Randy say about her extreme maturity. The fact remains - 14. It's not like he's 45 or something, and it's creepy, but he needs to be more careful. I know their "pure and beautiful love" knows no age. What bullshit. The thing that's kinda weirding me out is this...my brother has had 2 real relationships, I suppose, this one and his one with Sarah. Sarah was utterly obsessed with him. She still freaking is. This new girl talks about him likes he's some sort of god. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that they were both 14, I don't know. But the thing is, they are obsessed with him...he is not obsessed with them. I don't think any obsession with a person is good, (no person deserves to be worhipped) but if it exists it should at least be mutual. I truly believe my brother, like the fabulous Gordo on Lizzie McGuire, (haha I had to put it in there somewhere, sorry) likes the idea of having a girlfriend more than he actually likes the girlfriend. Not that he didn't care about Sarah, or that he doesn't care about Maggie now. But I know of two or three girls that he himself has been obsessed with...not Maggie or Sarah, but girls I will not name. (to protect the innocent!) And he never gets these girls. So he decides that dating a 14-year-old behind my mother's back is a good thing. My father and I have discussed the fact that Randy is the smartest person in the family, yet the one with the least common sense. It must be a terrible way to be. I don't mean any of this to be mean to my brother, I love him and everything, but I am so sick of being my mom's messenger on all the things he's doing that he shouldn't be. Who should I be truthful to? 12:23 p.m. - 2003-12-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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